we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
