We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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