it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
