I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
this boner is exhausting
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
