Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
we're so committed to being not committed
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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