Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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