Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
