i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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