i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
