you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
