I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
