you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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