You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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