like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
