Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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