you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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