you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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