my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
