john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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