So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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