I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
