Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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