'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
PANTIES FOUND
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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