I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
