I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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