Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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