Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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