one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize