Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
