If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
