I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
