we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
