You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
