that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
