Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
