the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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