Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize