i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
