ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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