this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
