I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
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I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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