$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
