Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.