Sponge bath it is.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable