I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?