really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
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the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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