First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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