wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
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In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
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I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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