I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize