would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
