I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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