I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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