i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think I am morally bankrupt
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
