so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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