I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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