her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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