i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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