I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize