You made me cry and you don't even care
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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