tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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