dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
